Zip Your Lip {part one}: Have you said any of these things at the table?

"I'm so proud of the way you ate tonight!" 
"You're eating THAT?!"
"Great job cleaning your plate." 
"There are starving children in....."

We all do it yet we may not even realize that we do it. We comment on others' behavior around food-positive or negative. . We don't realize that even when we think we're being positive, it's actually being received as negative. Did I blow your mind with that one? It's true. Studies shown that whether we praise good eating or nag poor eating, it's ALL taken negatively. 

I'm going to let you in on a little secret...I EVEN DO IT once in a while and I'm the person helping others to NOT do it. It's a hard, hard habit to break because we've experienced it, likely, our entire lives. We think nothing of commenting on another's food choices {or lack thereof} but we wouldn't dream of commenting, so easily, on clothing choices or behavior.  We also have read different schools of thought on the subject and one minute we're told to do this and another that. I promise you that, when it comes to picky eaters we really need to zip our lips.

Why do we need to zip our lips at mealtimes? 

• Whatever we say can be taken as the opposite {"eat this"puts up a stop sign for that food; "don't eat this" gives the green light to that food}
• Whatever we say can be taken as pressure to eat/not eat
• Whatever we say can reinforce picky eating
• Whatever we say can make the mealtime focus on the food 

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What does positive "pressure" look like?

• "Good eating tonight"
• "Don't forget to have some carrots"
• "If you eat all of your hamburger, you can have TWO glasses of chocolate milk"
• "If you get 3 stickers on your chart this week for good eating, you can download a new iPad app"
• "It's important to eat healthy foods to grow up big and strong"
• Making separate foods for your picky eater than for the rest of the family

What does negative pressure look like?

• "You have had plenty of bread now-no more bread."
• "No junk food except on Saturdays"
• "Come on, don't you want to make mommy happy and take a bite?"
• "Fine. Don't eat. Go to your room then."
• "You're going to be tiny and not strong like daddy if you don't eat"
• "Give me that spoon, I'll get him/her to eat it!"

Eye opening, right? 
Feeling like you don't know what you CAN say at the table? 
Never fear as I have another post scheduled for next week {part two of today's post}, to help you with that. Until then, focus on becoming AWARE of the positive and negative pressure you may be putting on your kiddos. 

STOP the pressure and find peace at the table with these video tips!

Until next time, keep growing and blooming!

Jen