A few weeks ago while working with one of my Academic Coaching Clients, he said an interesting thing. He said "my parents think that I don't complete things on purpose but I really don't. I don't intentionally say to myself that I'm not going to do this or that. I just don't do it. Many times, I don't know why I don't do something. I think I'm going to. I say that I'm going to and then it doesn't get done."
Sound familiar? There can be many reasons that things don't get done. Most of the time, it's FEAR {fear of failing, judgement, looking "less than." }. If something doesn't get done...nobody can judge you on it, right? I've had students tell me this straight up; "No Jennifer, I can't turn that paper in late because then the teacher will be judging me." So, it's easier in their mind to just let it go and never turn it in. "No Jennifer, I can't go talk to the professor about that because then they'd know that I don't understand or they'll think that I'm stupid." So, they don't ever take control of their learning experience and advocate for themselves. "No Jennifer, I'm not going to find a tutor to help me with my math because if I do and put in the time and still do poorly on the test...I'm a lost cause." So, they just continue to allow the stress and fear build and never take control of the situation which only allows this cycle to become further engrained, In coaching sessions, when I'm working with a student who procrastinates, doesn't turn in assignments, doesn't talk to professors/teachers or just doesn't get things done... we spend A LOT of time teasing out the reason(s) WHY. Sure it would be easy to just TELL them what to do... use this tool....just turn in the darned assignment...just go talk to the professor...just go to the help session for math. That's not my style though. My style is to get down and dirty in the trenches with the WHY so they can understand WHY they do what they do, recognize it in the future and CHANGE THEIR BEHAVIOR. So, the moral of this story? The next time you find yourself procrastinating on something ask yourself WHY. Be honest with yourself. What are you afraid of? Then, ask yourself "What is the WORST thing that could happen here?" Once you realize that nothing you are imagining is really all that bad on the scale of life events, set your time management tools in motion and get crack-a-lackin'. Each time you face the fear, it gets easier and easier and easier. If you need a one on one pep talk, I'm here. Do you procrastinate or leave things unfinished? Why? I'd love to hear. Leave me a comment. Jennifer
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November 2016
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