It's the Little Things...

Over the years, and especially since I have been dealing with more picky eaters, I've learned that it's the little things we do that add up to the bigger things/successes in the end.

When families are used to a struggle with eating at mealtimes, they naturally lose the "social" experience of the time together.  Many times, parents have tried so many different methods to get their child to eat that I see some pretty extreme things and really, who can blame them?  Having a child that won't eat, isn't gaining weight and has terrible behaviors at mealtimes is a scary, scary thing.   What I almost never see with my families though is a family mealtime.  There isn't one. Everyone is eating separately,  while running around the house or while sitting on mom's lap (but mom isn't eating).  There isn't a structured time to sit down and enjoy family time.

Often, before we ever begin to address the "food" issue I suggest the following changes for the family:

• Turn off the T.V and sit at the table as a family.
  
• Have the child help set the table. Even toddlers can help with this task and it's a great language activity to boot!
• Provide child sized, divided plates for children up to 7 years old. I don't know about you, but I don't like certain foods to touch....gravy in my watermelon? No thank you. :)
• Begin your meal with some routine. At my house, we say a prayer and then share one thing from our day. I always find it funny that if we say the prayer and "dig in" my 15 year old son is often the one who says "we forgot to share something."  He has become used to this time to share things over the years and even if it is just a time for him to vent  (more than I'd like lately) it's part of his routine and he expects it. Find what works for your family. Maybe it is a word of the day, rhyme of the day, a song...the possibilities are endless.
• Keep portion sizes in check! Did you know that a portion size for a child up to 7 years of age is 1 Tablespoon per year of age?  You are right if you think this seems like a small amount but when you realize that your child's stomach is only the size of their fist, you begin to realize how much we GROSSLY over serve ourselves. It's also much less visually intimidating to see only 1T of a food rather than 3 or 4 T of it when you are anxious about food in the first place.
  
• Don't talk about what your child is or isn't eating.  Enjoy the family time. Talk about your day, talk about the food but say things like "boy, these strawberries are so sweet tonight" and whatever you do, don't follow that up with "you should try a bite. Do you want a bite? or Take a bite." :)  Just leave it at that and move on to something else.
• End the meal with EVERYONE helping to clear the table. EVERYONE. This signals the end of the meal and helps to provide the child with a routine that will eventually help them to transition FROM the table and TO the table when it is meal or snack time. 
  

Start with these small changes, which might seem to be BIG changes for your family at first, a little at a time and see what happens.  Mealtime WILL become more relaxed and something to look forward to IF you keep the focus off of the FOOD and more on enjoying the family time together.

As always, I welcome your comments. I would love to hear about YOUR family mealtime routines. Stay tuned for more ideas.

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