 A few weeks ago while working with one of my Academic Coaching Clients, he said an interesting thing. He said "my parents think that I don't complete things on purpose but I really don't. I don't intentionally say to myself that I'm not going to do this or that. I just don't do it. Many times, I don't know why I don't do something. I think I'm going to. I say that I'm going to and then it doesn't get done."
Sound familiar? There can be many reasons that things don't get done. Most of the time, it's FEAR {fear of failing, judgement, looking "less than." }. If something doesn't get done...nobody can judge you on it, right? I've had students tell me this straight up; "No Jennifer, I can't turn that paper in late because then the teacher will be judging me." So, it's easier in their mind to just let it go and never turn it in. "No Jennifer, I can't go talk to the professor about that because then they'd know that I don't understand or they'll think that I'm stupid." So, they don't ever take control of their learning experience and advocate for themselves. "No Jennifer, I'm not going to find a tutor to help me with my math because if I do and put in the time and still do poorly on the test...I'm a lost cause." So, they just continue to allow the stress and fear build and never take control of the situation which only allows this cycle to become further engrained, In coaching sessions, when I'm working with a student who procrastinates, doesn't turn in assignments, doesn't talk to professors/teachers or just doesn't get things done... we spend A LOT of time teasing out the reason(s) WHY. Sure it would be easy to just TELL them what to do... use this tool....just turn in the darned assignment...just go talk to the professor...just go to the help session for math. That's not my style though. My style is to get down and dirty in the trenches with the WHY so they can understand WHY they do what they do, recognize it in the future and CHANGE THEIR BEHAVIOR. So, the moral of this story? The next time you find yourself procrastinating on something ask yourself WHY. Be honest with yourself. What are you afraid of? Then, ask yourself "What is the WORST thing that could happen here?" Once you realize that nothing you are imagining is really all that bad on the scale of life events, set your time management tools in motion and get crack-a-lackin'. Each time you face the fear, it gets easier and easier and easier. If you need a one on one pep talk, I'm here. Do you procrastinate or leave things unfinished? Why? I'd love to hear. Leave me a comment. Jennifer
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Pounding heart. Sweaty palms. Weight on your chest. MIND goes BLANK. Sound familiar? Anxiety for many students is the reason for their underperformance. It's understandable with all of the pressures to get into "THE" college, participate in just the "right" activities, have the "best" grades while also handling a job. Stress and anxiety for students are at all time highs and research shows us that they lack the tools to manage. In my Academic Life Coaching practice, helping students manage their anxiety is a large part of what I do. When we begin to tease out WHY they are struggling with assignments, tests, beginning projects, managing time, anxiety is the culprit lurking in the shadows like a dark mist they don't even know is there. It infiltrates their thoughts and their ability to breathe properly which is catastrophic. Here is an easy, discrete tool that I recommend for students dealing with not only test anxiety but overall performance anxiety. Breath is life. Take some time to focus on your breathing, not just during stressful times, but throughout your day. Be mindful of your breath. Over time, your breathing will remain in a calm zone even during stressful times.
What works for you when you are stressed during a test or performance? I'd love to know. Shoot me an email or comment on this post. Jennifer *****If you're looking for more easy ways to help manage stress and perform at your personal best, check out my time management tools for students, online course. |
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