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Anyone dealing with a stubborn kiddo out there? How about a little friend who doesn't like his/her schedule to change and cries or throws a tantrum if it does? I bet a lot of you are shaking your heads "yes" right now. I swear to you that these kids aren't doing it on purpose...well, they are but not for the reasons you think. They are simply trying to keep things within their comfort zone. Hard to think about that however when you're dealing with a tantrum or aggressive behaviors. Take the next 15 minutes to listen to some strategies that you can begin using TODAY that will help you to help your child learn flexibility. What does your child have the most difficulty with when it comes to flexibility? I'd love to hear your comments.
Until next time, keep growing and blooming. Jen
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I've had several instances, both professionally and personally, over the past few weeks that made me want to revisit this topic. We still just don't get how powerful our words are to others and what power they wield when used as "weapons." Whether it's commenting on what is on another's plate "that's ALL you're eating?", "What is WRONG with you?" {spoken to a child who can't remember their materials} or a passive aggressive word spoken to a colleague "oh, that must be why you got that sale" words sting and their effect lasts much longer than when the last syllable rings out. Take a quick listen to the video below to hear how to manage your words both as sender and receiver. How do you stay in a positive space while speaking to others? What tips do you have when you are on the receiving end of negativity? I'd love to hear.
Until next time...keep growing and blooming. Jen A common misconception is that the digestive process begins with the first bite of food. In reality it begins with the first sight or smell of a food. For some, it may even begin with the first mention of a food. I dare you to think of something really sour and NOT feel a rush of saliva into your mouth. Those of us who work with, or parent, a picky or selective eater know this all too well. Just as a sour food causes most of us to salivate because of our positive memory of it, for others {selective eaters in particular} the sight or smell of a food can produce more unpleasant responses like gagging, nausea, vomiting etc... Now...where am I going with this you ask? Well, here...  Photo: Y.M This is squid salad and a friend of mine who is in Hawaii right now, posted this picture and said it was "delicious." I'd like to believe that, but I can't. I just can't get past the suckers and the idea of that texture being in my mouth. If I'm being completely honest, I have felt "gaggy" from the instant I began to write this post because I knew I'd soon be staring at the picture again. It makes me lose my appetite. It looks too "other-worldly" for me. Now, my REAL point in writing this post is to remind everyone that your picky/selective eaters feel the way I do, about this squid salad, but with more mainstream foods. Foods that "shouldn't" be scary. Let's see...like "ants on a log"...how could a kid not like ants on a log? It's just celery, peanut butter and raisins, right?  photo: Creative Commons Well, to some kids they really DO look like ants and why would someone EAT ants anyway? See what I mean? Yet we think ALL kids should LOVE ants on a log. How about this strawberry? Does it look appetizing to you or does it look a little freakish with it's weird, bug-like seeds, it's hairy surface and the black blemish that could mean a bug is lurking inside?  Photo: Creative Commons Have I made my point?
Food looks different to everyone. Food evokes a different, neurological/biological response in everyone. Food that is "delcious" to you might make another gag. Yes...even for a two year old. Moral of the story? File this away and remember it the next time your picky/selective eater says "that looks....weird....yucky." You really have no idea how they are "seeing" {or experiencing} that food. Until next time...keep growing and blooming. Jen So many times, we teach kiddos social skills in a way that isn't natural for them. We need to be mindful of the age of the child and what child do naturally at that age, not what we as adults might do or want them to do. Take a listen to the podcast to get helpful tips that you can begin to use today. What things do you notice tweens doing socially that you might not realize you have to teach? A fist bump? A certain handshake? Anything?
Until next time, keep growing and blooming. Jen Continuing our discussion of how games and play can build, strengthen and fine tune Executive Function skills...I have our weekly video tip for you. Sometimes, it IS ok to change the rules. So, did you play the golf tee game? I remember getting one at the Cracker Barrel on one of our road trips down to Florida when I was a kid. Who knew that my sister and I were building valuable Executive Function skills, while we passed the drive time, playing our new game for hours on end!
Do you have fond memories of road trips and the games you played to pass the time? I'd love to hear. Until next time...keep growing and blooming. Jen  When it comes to executive function skills, we must remember that we are not born with these skllls intact and ready to go. Instead, we have the potential to develop these very important, biologically based foundational skills for school and life readiness. As a child ages, they gain these very important skills as the pre frontal cortex of their brain matures and forms/connects neural pathways based upon experiences. As they approach adolescence, these connections are fine tuned and perfected.
When scientists and therapists try to relate the research to more "user friendly" ways to improve Executive Function skills, they continue to come back to one area: play. Structured and unstrucured play continues to be one of THE best ways to form and strengthen Executive Function skills. It's my intention with this post to demonstrate how three common games can be used to help Executive Function skills form, strengthen and become perfected. Let's take a look at 3 games {one board game, one card game and one movement game}: Checkers Executive Function Skills Addressed: Impulse control, cognitive flexibility, emotional regulation, sustained attention, task initiation, working memory, planning, self-monitoring. Example of scaffolding technique for a parent/teacher: "If you move your checker there, I can double jump you. A better idea might be to move this piece." This would be faded as the child began to scan the board and problem solve on their own. UNO {TM} Executive Function Skills Addressed: Impulse control, cognitive flexibility, emotional regulation, sustained attention, working memory, self monitoring, planning. Example of scaffolding technique for a parent/teacher: "See how I played a reverse, skip and then a regular card? That helped me get rid of more cards and closer to UNO." This would be faded as the child began to ask questions of the adult or showed signs of strategy on their own. Red Light Green Light Executive Function Skills Addressed: Impulse control, emotional regulation, sustained attention, working memory, self monitoring and cognitive flexibility {change the rules and use a "yellow light" for walking}. Example of scaffolding technique for a parent/teacher: Parent/teacher can physically move with a child who is having difficulty with the rules. Then, physical support may be faded to only a visual signal to indicate go/stop. Your assignment this week...PLAY a game with your kids. What games do you like to play with your students or kiddos? Tell me in the comments. Jennifer P.S Would you like to learn more about how games can help with organizational and academic skills? Sign up for my newsletter. Happy Friday, friends! Whether you're needing to improve your presentation skills for an audience of non-native English speakers or are simply looking for ways to improve your overall speaking, this podcast is for you. So, I'd LOVE to hear your favorite misheard song lyrics...unless you listen to the podcast you'll have no idea what I'm talking about here so take 15 minutes and listen.
Until next time, keep growing and blooming. Jen It's Wednesday and it's time for a video blog tip for you! Today, I'm sharing a tip about how to avoid pressure at mealtimes. This tip is important for ALL children not just our picky and selective eaters. Can you think of any other ways pressure sneaks into mealtimes with young children AND adults? I'd love to hear what you think. Leave me a comment.
Until next time, keep growing and blooming. Jen Don't worry, I'm not going to give a lesson in economics...did any of you even know that is where the term opportunity cost comes from? I didn't ...until my son shared that with me after I used a little of my Executive Function expertise on him when he was being less than timely with initiating the task of his college applications.
After seeing him wasting time on something other than what he was needing to do...I asked him "Is what you are doing worth more than getting into the colleges you want to?" He immediately stopped what he was doing, looked right at me and said "Wow, mom. That makes a lot of sense. I like that. By they way, nice use of an opportunity cost." A what? Defined by Wikipedia: The opportunity cost of a choice is the value of the best alternative forgone, in a situation in which a choice needs to be made between several mutually exclusive alternatives given limited resources. Or, in simpler terms that even I can understand: Opportunity cost is what you have to forgo when you choose to do A rather than B. Talk about getting to the point with a preteen or teen! Who knew that economic terms were the magic pill for procrastination?! I'd love to hear how using this concept works for you with your own kids/students. Until next time...keep growing and blooming. Jen If you have followed my blog and Blog Talk Radio Show, you know that I've spoken about how important asking questions is for good communication. Well, after listening to a podcast by Ken Coleman recently, it's become even more evident that asking questions is THE most important thing that a leader, parent, teacher, student, client, clinican etc...can do to create a culture of communication. Take a listen to find out how to create yours... Do you ask questions of your staff and clients to better understand where to go next? I'd love for you to comment and let me know! Until next time, keep growing and blooming.
Jen |
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