 Look familiar?
If you have a picky, selective or finicky eater I'm sure it looks ALL too familiar. Rest assured, you are not alone.
One of the most important things I do as a feeding therapist is to help families bring peace back to the table while we are working on whatever issues are causing the picky eating.
No matter the reason for the picky eating, we must begin to repair the damage that has been done from months or years of mealtime battles.
So, how do we even begin to bring the trust and peace back to the table?
By setting boundaries for both the child AND the parent.
Boundaries, when used appropriately, are very effective with picky eaters because they allow the picky eater to learn what will be expected of them at the table {which will be very different than the past} AND it allows the parent to relax and focus on something other than how many bites their child is taking at the table. After some time {it will vary for each individual child/family} there will be far fewer battles at the table and the child will be adding to their food acceptance list.
So, how do we set boundaries?
First, we always make sure that there is a food or two on the table that the child WILL eat
~YES, this means that it may only be crackers, bread, milk or water.
Next, we are NOT ALLOWED to say "take a bite, try this, smell this, just two more bites" etc...we do not comment on each other's plates or choices. We simply enjoy the meal.
~YES, this WILL be difficult. Go with it. TRUST the new boundaries. EVERYONE in the household or at the mealtime should be respecting these boundaries.
Next, when/if the child begins to say "I won't eat that. I don't want that" you are firm and clear in your answer without giving too much attention to it. Say "That's fine. Choose something you'd like." {because there is ALWAYS something on the table they like}. Let me be clear here...you are NOT becoming a short order cook and fixing whatever the child likes that day. You are simply always having something on the table they WILL eat. Something as easy as milk, crackers, bread etc.. The picky eater must learn that it is fine to not want or try something on the table , but they will not be indulged with whatever they want {short order cooking}. Further, they will learn that there will not be a battle at the table because there IS something they like on the table. It is recommended that you are on a consistent meal/snack schedule so the child has an opportunity to eat again within a reasonable amount of time.
Finally, you follow these boundaries for EVERY meal. You follow these boundaries even when you don't see changes immediately. Trust takes time and many children and families have had such a horrendous experience with food and mealtime that it will take time to rebuild trust and repair their relationship with food.
Be patient.
THIS is where we must begin. We can not move forward with treating picky eating if we can not rebuild the trust around food. The only way to do this is by setting respectful and clear boundaries for both the child and the parents.
If you need more information on learning how to set clear and respectful boundaries at your table, please contact me.
Jen
One of the things that I love about the Food Chaining philosophy is the concept of a rating scale for picky eaters to use when exploring new foods. It empowers them and gives them a say in what goes into their mouth and, eventually, onto their accepted food list.
What I have found with these ratings scales, however, is that it can be hard for many of my picky eaters to conceptualize. I find myself cutting down the ratings for many of them and drawing {I always have crayons with me} a stoplight to give them a more real world example of how to use it.
What do I mean?
Most children KNOW what red means on a stop light. STOP!
Most children KNOW what yellow means on a stop light. Go Slow, caution.
Most children KNOW what green means on a stop light. GO!
How does this translate to food? Like this...
I'll present this, or something very similar, to my kiddos and explain how we will use it as we try tastes of new foods. - Green = GO! "Yes, I enjoyed that food. I will eat it again. Go ahead and put that on my food list. "
- Yellow =Proceed with caution. "That food was O.K. I might eat it again but I'm not ready to put it on my food list and I want to try it again sometime."
- Red = "No. I did not enjoy that food. I don't want to try it again in the near future. Don't put it on my food list."
The kids really enjoy this rating scale and we often will make a corresponding list of red, yellow and green light foods {depending upon the developmental ability and age of the child}. How about you? Have you found a way for your picky eating kids to rate their foods in a unique and meaningful way? I'd love for you to share it with me. As always, thank you for reading and until next time...keep helping your kiddos BLOOM!Jen
 One of the things I absolutely adore about Facebook is that wonderful collaborations can occur in the span of minutes. On Friday, I happened to post a status about making home made pizza dough and pizzas for my teen who was having friends over {17 year olds eat A LOT you know!}. One of my childhood friends posted a comment about how she does Pizza Bar at her house {especially when her 4 kids have friends over}. I absolutely LOVED this idea so I shot her a quick FB message and asked if she had any photos that she would be comfortable sharing.
Not only did she have photos but, she also shared a wonderfully written post about her experiences cooking with her children.
Without further adou, I give you Kristina's great idea for cooking with kids that is perfect for finicky AND adventurous eaters~just make the tweaks necessary for your finicky ones; no pressure, keep it FUN and allow them to make their own creations in their own time. Click here for the link. By the way...Kristina is a VERY talented photographer which you will quickly realize when you see the absolutely GORGEOUS photos she has shared of her family and their Pizza Bar nights. As always, thank you for reading. Until next time, keep helping your kiddos BLOOM!
Jen
This pains me to write this...literally and figuratively. I hadn't planned this particular post but had an epiphany while eating my usual Fage yogurt this morning.
Isn't this a fantastic bowl? I LOVE vintage dishes. Actually, I love vintage everything. On one of my jaunts through Goodwill this week, I found this awesome little bowl in Tiffany Blue. Perfect. What a great way to liven up my morning routine of yogurt. The color and size are just my taste.
Only...
I can not eat things from this bowl as it puts me over my sensory threshold edge. Even though this bowl is glazed, it is still stone and everything was fine until I got to the bottom of my yogurt and my spoon began to scrape the bottom. IT. WAS. TERRIBLE. The only way I can explain it, is fingernails on a chalkboard.
I felt it.
EVERYWHERE. My fingers, my arm, my ears...MAKE.IT.STOP!
People wonder why I "get" kids with sensory based feeding disorders. Well, this is why. I have them myself. Even though I don't have picky eating or an extreme sensitivity to texture, taste or smell {although my husband would vehemently disagree} I DO have sensitivities which makes me a good therapist and for that I am thankful. I become their voice. I can look at the issue from 360 degrees.
I can not imagine how I would feel about eating if someone sat and FORCED me to keep eating from this bowl. I probably would get agitated, cry, do something to get out of it {gag, vomit, tantrum}.
So, think about this next time your child is finicky. It may be something like the sound of the utensil on the dish. Try to figure out the issue. Try not to assume that they are just being "difficult." Think about something that bothers you. A food you just can't tolerate. A sound that puts you over the edge. Then, think about if someone forced you or bribed you to keep experiencing that difficult thing over and over and over and over...how would you feel? What would you do?
Sigh.
I need to find a silicone covered spoon so I can continue to eat from this bowl. :)
As always, thanks for reading.
Until next time...Keep helping your kiddos BLOOM.
 O.K, O.K...I couldn't resist the dog picture. This post has nothing to do with dogs just the Olympic medals they're wearing.
So let's get started.
We've been talking about Olympic-themed picky eater ideas and this is another FUN idea for you and your kiddos.
Part of a therapeutic program for picky eating is to, EVENTUALLY, have the child become more open to trying new foods. If you take the pressure off and do some of the activities I've blogged about....that should happen. WHEN it does (and remember it is different for everyone-helping an anxious eater is a marathon NOT a sprint) and it WILL, try having your very own Olympic Tasting Event.
Here's how...
*Pick a food that your child accepts readily but also has different forms, brands or packaging.
*Make, print or buy "Olympic" medals
*Have a small notebook to keep track of your "Medal Count" (I'll explain more later)
Let's use Macaroni and Cheese for our example because many, many, MANY picky eaters LOVE Mac and Cheese...a certain brand of Mac and Cheese to be exact!
(1)Purchase three different kinds of Mac and Cheese (if you can) within the same brand (eg. regular, spiral, character shapes).
(2) Have your child help you make each one
(3) Place the different kinds on the table in three different containers.
(4) Make sure you have your "medals" ready to be awarded
(5) You, and/or your child should take a taste of each one making sure you talk about the similarities and differences of each one. "this tastes the same even though it's a different shape!" "This is cheesier and you need to chew it a little more etc...)
(6) Have a "Medal Ceremony" after the Olympic Tasting Event is completed.
 The gold medal should be awarded to the one that would be eaten again without hesitation.
The silver medal should be awarded to the one that would be tried again and eaten, in place of their "regular" style of this food, on occasion.
The bronze medal should be awarded to the one that they liked the least and feel that they wouldn't care to try again for some time.
After the medals are awarded, have a Closing Ceremony by recording the food, and the medals, in the tasting notebook. I suggest using one page with the food listed at the top. Take pictures of each box, each food after it's cooked or your child eating the foods to place on the page. This will give them a visual reminder of their experience.
At the very end of your Olympics, go back through the notebook and record all gold and silver medal foods on a list from which your child can select from for future meals. This list will not only help with meal planning but give a visual reminder to both you and your child of the new foods they have added to their core food list.
Enjoy!
Stay tuned for ONE more Olympic themed activity for you and your picky eater.
As always...thanks for reading my blog.
Jen
Shhh. Don't tell my husband that I'm actually doing "work" while we are on our summer trip. I couldn't help it though...
While browsing Facebook one morning, from the porch of our cabin, I came upon a phenomenal Olympic Craft posted by www.nobiggie.net and as I sat pondering how cool it was, I came up with a way to use it for our Picky Eater Olympic unit. Before I fill you in on the details though...take a look at this awesome idea from Nobiggie (and make sure you stop by their blog and share some love with them when you get the directions). Now, once you get this awesome craft completed and after you have talked about the significance of these rings (a language lesson bonus!) you can head out to the garden, local Farmer's Market, favorite grocery store or your very own kitchen to find some foods to sort, by color, into the jars (another language bonus!).
An even better idea, and to take the lesson even further, you can search the internet for some foods you haven't tried before, make your Olympic Food Ring list and head out to find the new foods.
Another idea (I'm full of them!) you can try is to first sort the foods,whole, into their respective colored jars. Next, you could then cut the foods into smaller pieces and then sort the pieces into jars. This step gives your picky eater an entirely different visual, tactile and olfactory sensory experience AND it just might make them more likely to try the food. They will have the juice on their fingers and see how the food behaves before ever getting it near their mouth.
NOW...PAY ATTENTION here....the goal of the lesson is NOT to get the food into your child's mouth (I know, I know but trust me on this one). The goal is to give your child some more experience with new foods WITHOUT going to the mouth FIRST.
Be patient my friends and go slowly...have fun and you just might be rewarded with a TRULY Olympic experience when your picky eater actually tries, and likes, one of these new foods.
Thanks for reading...stay tuned for another Picky Eater Olympic post SOON.
Jen
So, I'm not feeling that hot tonight and have been perusing Pinterest while I lay on the couch and seeing a lot of Olympic posts and one about "eating around the world" and it hit me...an Olympic theme for our picky eaters.
One of the ways to get your picky eater to become a little more adventurous is to "teach" them about the food and where it comes from.
What better time to do explore new foods than during the Olympics?
First, pick a country to explore (preferably after watching some of the trials or actual Olympic events). You can also find a list of the participating countries at Wikipedia: 2012 Summer Olympics.
Say you choose The Bahamas. Find an image of the flag, print them out perhaps and glue them to some bamboo skewers for a centerpiece.
Next, maybe read a book or two about the country.  Find a few of the "staple" foods and recipes for the country. This is Bahamian Johnny Cake.
Have your picky eater (soon to be an "around the world adventurous eater) help you make a grocery list and head to the store.
Be sure to have your Olympic eater help you make the recipe. Talk about how the foods look, feel, smell and behave while you are working together as this helps a picky eater become more familiar with the foods before it gets anywhere near their mouth.
When the food is ready...PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
You should enjoy the food but do not force the food upon your cautious eater. Ask them, after you have enjoyed some, if they might like to try it. If the answer is "no" DO NOT push at that time. Be patient. They may come around a little later. The idea with this lesson is to explore new foods without pressure.
Stay tuned, throughout the Olympics, for more picky eater ideas.
Thank you for reading.
Jen
For the Johnny Cake recipe, you can visit www.wanderlustandlipstick.com.
All other pictures taken from Wikipedia.
While shopping with my family this weekend at a store I don't frequently visit, I found a new product that has GREAT potential for my feeding therapy. Have you heard of the Magic Milk Flavoring Straws yet? http://www.magicstraws.com/about-magic-milk-straws.php. I am intrigued with them and thus far so is my 11 year old daughter. She recommends the vanilla milkshake (she is so my daughter) so far. First, let me tell you that I am NOT a pushover when I am grocery shopping with my kids.. .OR my husband... but while we were shopping Saturday night and we saw these cool milk flavoring straws I couldn't resist and was just as excited as my daughter about them. For starters, they were ONLY $.75 for a pack of 6 straws! Upon further investigation, I see that they have NO artificial colors, NO preservatives, NO artificial flavors and are GLUTEN FREE. You're paying close attention now aren't you? WAIT, there's more. Much more. Magic Milk Flavoring Straws also have only 4g of sugar (and 17 calories for those of us who might want to try it but need to pay attention to these things). They come in many flavors; chocolate, cookies and cream, orange cream, vanilla milkshake, strawberry, chocolate peanut butter (no peanuts it's with NUTELLA), strawberry banana, wild berry, banana and chocolate candy cane. Are you kidding me? There are so many possibilities here for new flavors, chaining to new flavors and ultimately chaining to new foods! You want to know the other FANTABULOUS thing about this product?????? They look interesting and FUN also. Each straw has the coolest little flavor beads on the inside so it has that WOW factor for kids. I can't get a great picture so you'll have to visit the website to see how cool they are...SORRY! My camera stinks. I have not yet used them in therapy but you can bet I'm planning on it this week. I couldn't wait to get the word out to everyone about this new find. I just know I'm going to have trouble sleeping tonight! Have you seen these? Used these? Have an idea for a new flavor? (go to the above link and you can enter your suggestion). Let me know.
How many of you have had a powerful reaction to a food when you smelled it, tasted it or saw it? I would venture to say that every single one of us has. Positive or negative (stomach flu anyone?) there are certain food experiences that we just can't forget.
I was reminded of this recently when I gave a friend some cookies I had baked. You see these weren't just ANY cookies, they were Peppernuts: a beloved, paper thin, cookie cutter shaped, anise flavored cookie from our childhood. I had mentioned to her that my mom was teaching my daughter and I to bake them and she commented that she hadn't had any since the days of our grandmothers making them in the basement of the church. Of course I had to share some with her! I dropped the cookies off and didn't give it another thought until she sent me a text, some days later, saying that she had a powerful experience when she tasted it. Her grandmother has since passed and so biting into the cookie took her immediately back to her grandmother's kitchen, smelling the smells and tasting the tastes. It was so powerful, she became emotional at these memories and said "I felt ridiculous standing in the kitchen, tearing up over a COOKIE."
It's NOT uncommon though. As a feeding therapist I understand the relationship between food and memory all too well. So many of my clinically picky eaters have a negative "memory" that we are working to slowly, slowly, slowly erase. How can you be expected to enjoy eating if the ONLY memory you have of eating in general or a certain food brings you pain or nausea or anxiety?
There are a few foods that I STILL can't eat because I have had bad experiences with them. Most ,for me, are from my pregnancies. I was so VERY sick with both of my children that, at one point, I didn't think I'd have any foods left that I would enjoy. Orange creamsicle? Not entering this mouth and it's been 11 YEARS!!
Whether we are parenting a picky eater or doing therapy with a picky eater we MUST remember that ONE episode with a food or eating event can create a LASTING memory that shapes how we accept that food and perhaps even other foods. As I work with picky eaters, I try to put myself in their shoes.
What if someone strapped me into a high chair and came at me with an orange creamsicle? Would it be a happy time?
*No. It wouldn't.
What if they asked me to "please just take a bite" and I did, just to please them? Would it erase my unhappy memory about that food?
*No, it wouldn't.
Would it create an even bigger negative memory for that food?
*Yes, it probably would because I would likely gag and feel sick after eating it.
Would it then be even harder to get me to eat because I'm still associating bad things with orange creamsicles AND now with my high chair?
*Yes, it would.
Let's all be mindful of where the food refusal is coming from. Put yourself in your child's shoes. Think about the above scenario only with your most dreaded food to gain some perspective.
Now, I want you to comment and let me know what that food would be and why...
So, I've been trying to do more cooking again lately for many reasons; I need to get my eating back on track, I LOVE to cook and I am trying out the cook for an afternoon and eat for a week concept (so far so good!). Why didn't I start doing this long before now???? As I've been trying these new recipes...I keep coming back to the idea that there are so many foods that we can use as a "blank canvas" when it comes to adding different textures and flavors for our picky or cautious eaters. We start with a basic recipe and as our eater becomes more adventurous, we add "color, texture and flavor" into/onto the canvas. One of the most flexible of these, what I'm now calling "blank canvas foods" or for short BCF's, is Baked Oatmeal. I've tried it two different ways now and BOTH of the changes I made, which incidentally were easy peasy, turned out wonderfully. My cautious eating daughter has loved both varieties and is now back to eating a nutritious breakfast that has that "hearty" quality that we all long for in the winter months. I bet you want the recipe, don't you? :) Well, here it is...and because I appreciate when people give me credit for my creativity (it doesn't happen often but when it does, I'd like credit!) I'd like to thank www.skinnymomskitchen for the great website and Baked Oatmeal Recipe. Stop by her website for some great recipes that freeze well, are kid friendly and are actually great BCF's (home made Hot Pockets and Bean Burritos and freezable PB& J's) Basic Baked OatmealServings: 9 Serving size: 1 baked oatmeal square Approximate nutritional information:Calories: 210 * Carbs: 26 * Fat: 10 * Protein: 6 * Fiber: 2 Ingredients:3 cups rolled oats 2 large eggs, beaten ¼ cup canola oil 1 cup 1% milk ¼ cup brown sugar ½ cup applesauce (use homemade if you have it) 1 teaspoon cinnamon 1 teaspoon baking powder 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract Directions:Preheat oven to 375 degrees - In a medium to large bowl mix together oil, sugar, eggs, applesauce, cinnamon, and vanilla.
- Add to the bowl rolled oats, baking powder, and milk. Mix until thoroughly combined.
- Pour oat mixture into an 8 inch square baking dish and bake for 20 minutes. Let sit for about 3 minutes, cut into 9 squares, and serve warm.
Freezer InstructionsThese bars freeze and reheat very nicely. After they cook and cool wrap individually in plastic wrap then place in labeled freezer bag for the freezer. Reheating InstructionsRemove plastic wrap and warm in microwave (1-2 minutes) or in oven on 350 for 10-15 minutes or until warmed through. **** I've added 1/2 cup of blueberries to the recipe AND have also substituted 1/2 cup of pumpkin for the applesauce and 1 teaspoon of pumpkin pie spice for the cinnamon in another trial. ***** I think you could experiment with sooooo many different flavors here; add peanut butter and chocolate chips, add fruits that you would normally put into oatmeal anyway, add nuts, add protein powder to further increase the "staying power." Sky is the limit really. *****My daughter and I have been adding about 1T of REAL maple syrup to ours after we warm it. HEAVEN.So many options to try for your cautious and picky eaters and what a "safe" way to begin creating a flexible feeding environment. The other great thing (s) about this recipe is that it is a sound nutritional choice but will seem like it is a store bought product to your kiddos and it saves money too! Gotta love that. What are you waiting for? Get those creative juices flowing and make that blank canvas a MASTERPIECE...
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